Jack's Thoughts
by RhondaStar
Summary: Jack muses on his past & present life with Nora


Disclaimer: Don't own just borrowing.  
  
Jack's Thoughts  
  
'How dare she patronise me – walking in here and taking over, treating me like some sort of stranger, damn bloody woman. It's not the first time I've lost a case and unfortunately it won't be last, but that doesn't give her the right to…'  
  
Jack threw his briefcase onto the couch and slammed his door shut. He paced the room, ruffling his hair and loosening his tie, and trying unsuccessfully to remain calm. He slumped down onto the couch and closed his eyes.  
  
'Why is it bothering me so much anyhow? Because she's still beautiful after all these years – sure she's aged but I'm hardly some dashing young guy anymore. And those eyes, lord she could make me do anything with one look. All those years ago,'  
  
He settled himself comfortably against the couch, smiling now as he thought about her.  
  
" 'Jack, there's no use us arguing about this, it won't change anything.'  
  
'Of course it will, you can't just walk away. And stop packing that fucking case, just stop and look at me.' He grabbed her arms. 'Nora, you can't just end this, we've been together for two years.'  
  
'And now it's over – believe me it's easier this way.'  
  
'How can you say that? Two years is a hell of a lot to me, I've never had anything like this, felt this secure with anyone. I love you.'  
  
'You just think you do, we're only young Jack and you have a fantastic law career in front of you, I know you do. And I want to teach and travel, what kind of life would we have together? We'd never be together you know that – always too busy.'  
  
'I'd never be too busy for you. I thought we'd get married.'  
  
'And divorced a few years later hey, come on, you're not the commitment type. I'm surprised you didn't get bored of me earlier.'  
  
'I'm not bored of you – please don't leave, I need you.'  
  
'No you don't, you'll survive, we both will.' "  
  
He stretched on the couch, and opened his eyes staring up at the ceiling. The door opened and Nora entered.  
  
"You no longer knock?" He said sulkily.  
  
She opened the door again, went out, knocked and then re-entered. "Better?" She smiled.  
  
"Very funny."  
  
"I know I should have gone into comedy." She sat on the edge of the couch and he moved his legs for her. "So are you gonna stay angry at me for long?" He shrugged.  
  
'Damned woman - don't look at her, don't give her the pleasure.'  
  
"I don't want us to fight Jack, so I'm sorry I over reacted."  
  
"You're the DA, I guess you earnt the right to have an opinion."  
  
"Oh and don't be like that – so I'm a woman in a man's role – is that what you want me to say. I worked hard for this Jack, my entire career has been for this."  
  
"I know. Remember Nora I've always known how badly you wanted this."  
  
"Still sore after all these years."  
  
"How do you expect me to feel? What exactly do you want me to say? That I'm happy for you, that you made the right decision. Well you did, it worked, you're successful."  
  
"And so are you." She rubbed his leg but he looked away from her gaze.  
  
'And still miserable, one marriage ruined, countless relationships – all disasters. All not quite measuring up to this woman sitting next to me now, how pointless it all seems.'  
  
"What are you thinking?"  
  
"Nothing – that I'm hungry and tired and I should go home."  
  
"Ok, I get the hint, I'll leave you alone. Promise me you'll be happier tomorrow." She smiled as she stood up.  
  
'Don't dare make this less important than it is. Degrade me, make me shallow, weaken me, smile at me…'  
  
"It's funny how things work out isn't it. I mean we started our law careers together and now we end up here."  
  
"Yeah, I guess life has a weird sense of humour."  
  
"Irony I'd say…you want to have dinner with me?"  
  
'Say no, say no, say no, say no!'  
  
"Sure, that would be great. You're buying though."  
  
"Fine, I've just got to make a call, meet you by the elevator."  
  
She shut the door after her and Jack finally felt strong enough to get off the couch.  
  
'Damn my lack of self-restraint, as if it will go anywhere, as if you really want it to. She's not worth it, you can do better, keep telling yourself that.'  
  
He put his tie back on and tried to straighten his hair a little, before putting his jacket on.  
  
'It's not as if you need her, or still want her. Do you? Stupid old man, still hankering after something that's just out of reach.' 


End file.
